Friday 24 May 2019

This day 60 years ago....

When you are Aspergers there are all sorts of curious negotiations to be held with the world, sometimes every day! I’ve been having a fight with my beloved husband this morning because it’s my birthday and I’m simply indifferent to it. I am baffled why NTs make these things such a big deal. I’ve never cared to celebrate my own and have never particularly noticed when these anniversaries occur for others. I’ve never sent cards, emails or texts to acknowledge the birthdays of my son or granddaughter. Until he was in his 20s I couldn’t remember for sure the birth date of my second born son. For a long time I thought it was 5 days before Christmas then his adoptive mother pointed out to me it was actually December 28th! Thanks Carolyn. Lucky Aaron that his adoptive family have probably faithfully and lavishly celebrated his every birthday since 1981 whereas his elder brother only had 3 or 4 “real” birthday parties with me. Then when he left home at 18 I have never felt there was any necessity to do so since.

Fortunately I have 10 more fingers than the friends I can count on them so few in the category “friends” have had cause to be offended by my obliviousness. The situation with being birthday blind is further complicated that I was born on my Mothers 21st birthday so we share the same date 21 years apart. Mum often reminds me of the pain that decades of non-acknowledgment have caused her. My accumulating rap sheet gets more and more charges added with every passing year as I also don’t notice Mothers Days, Easters or needless to say – Christmas.

It will be good to write this blog acknowledging my anniversary imperviousness so I can refer people to it as a blanket explanation and apology for all past and future blunders.

I’m kind of stupefied and at a loss when peeps give me birthday wishes, which I’m assured are all meant in caring and respectful recognition.

I’ve heard of some cultures where they don’t have this obsessive western need to number every day of the year and count years. People have no idea what the day or year of their birth might have been. Their sense of aging comes from being aware of the seasonal cycles of nature. When they die no one records that specific date or has a number to attach to them that equates to how “old” the person was in accumulated days/years lived. I find the idea of such a society idyllic, where people live together placing no importance on the idea of being categorised as X number of years elapsed since birth. 

Is it legal to renounce having a birth day? Regrettably probably not and I love the idea how much chaos it would cause in first world society!!!

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